My Two-cents

Experience UP: The Fabled [U]nibersidad ng [P]ila

2008-04-09T16:02:00.000+08:00

Everyone was scribbling furiously; working on those creative juices that should flow at the proper times. We were supposed to conceptualize our very own argumentative papers in our subject, English 10, and, boy, it wasn't easy- at least for me. I shuffled from mind squeezing topics like to globalization and capitalism to experiential ones such as computer gaming. (But enough of such; this isn't the topic) Halfway into the remaining time, most of us were already straining our eyebrows to such great archs you could see them as small c's. But those c's eased down when we were relieved to hear light- in a good way, not exactly comical- topics from our classmates. Most memorable of those thesis statements was the one about UP being the "Unibersidad ng Pila" and "Unibersidad ng Pagkain" (University of Queue and University of Food).

At that time, I didn't really see why. From first day up to that particular minute, I didn't have to face the dreadful experiences the older ates and kuyas; we were given some sort of priority over choosing our classes and the sort. "I'll never be waking at 3 in the morning and waiting in line by 6 in front of the college, waiting for the doors to swing open and register." I thought back then.

NOOOOOOOT! Hate to admit it, but I guess I might just have to put my foot out of my mouth. Though the possibility of sleeping inside the college buildings, waiting for the manual registration seems remote, as the system has recently been computerized (thank goodness), the UP my classmate once described has hit home.

As most of you would know by now (or maybe not), I'd be shifting out of my course (sadly) and would be needing to study a merciless mathematics subject over the rest of the summer; yes, it sucks, don't rub it in. So, even against the deepest recesses of my cerebrum, I'd have to enroll myself. And I did. I went to my college this morning, asked around, and filled some forms. No biggie, really. Except that the first blow came quite too soon; 2007's (that's us) had to be processed until after 1 o'clock. That wasn't really bad for me as I still had an appointment with my doctor and I could simply while away the time effortlessly. I didn't know the storm was just coming.

Back in the campus, I made my first mistake of the day (afternoon, to be exact) and had the jeepney circle around the campus and take me to the nearest dirt road leading to my college; I was not aware that that would have some pretty serious impact. Upon entering the cozy edifice, I quickly submitted my Form 5, otherwise known as the most important form (well, this is only an assumption), to be assessed. Waiting, I knew, was an inevitable part of life. I braced myself for it and embraced it wholly; along with the fiery air hitting my face, dehydrating thirst and just sheer anxiousness to go home. That, however, I had to endure for a straight 2 hours and 30 minutes. It turned out that the processing and assessing of the fees for each student took more than 5 minutes or so each. True, there wasn't exactly a queue or pila in the strictest sense of the word, but there was one in thought as we giddily- and somehow impatiently- anticipated our names to be called and get the hell out of there. The invisible pila was felt by everyone; people tapped fingers anxiously, some paced the lobby tirelessly (myself included), and a few even rejoiced verbally when their names were announced.

OK, let's skip that. There really isn't much to be discussed anyway in the stretch of time. After having been assessed and reassessed (due to an error in the computation), I naturally sped my way out and found a Toki to get me to the cashier's office just a stone's throw from the Shopping Center. It was there that I found the consequence of the 5 minutes I let go earlier in the ride of the jeep: an extra long line greeted me with smugs in faces. At that time, the so-called Unibersidad ng Pila was starting to dawn on me, but I shrugged it off and was ready for another exciting adventure looking at another person's back (or foot, or a cute little shrub, etc). Bad news was it was already 4:15 when I reached the place, and a strictly enforced cut-off time rule was present; only up to 4:30 would the office entertain those settling fees. I cosidered getting out of the line and going home, got rejuvenated when the queue moved rather quickly, and got crushed when only 4 people were between me and my goal. Alas, the security guard behind the glass doors flipped the hallowed "OPEN" sign and it immediately read "CLOSED". We were given numbers on post-its to serve as our special passes the next day, thus giving us more priority when we lined up again tomorrow; to me, they looked like sour reminders of our failed attempt to settle enrollment in one day.

Pilas aren't so bad when you look at them. They reinforce within us the value of patience; sometimes kindness too when you're feeling elated to let someone else go in front of you. They're also, unfortunately for idealists, inevitable; we'd all have to face them sometime, somewhere. But, a few adjustments in our "riding comfy jeeps" and general discipline with regard to time, may make the pila just better.

Work Perk

2008-04-05T08:30:00.000+08:00

This space is to announce that I am officially looking for a part-time job, preferably home-based, with relation to writing/clerical/admin work.

If anyone knows a company/person/megalomaniac/sadist/pyromaniac looking for assistance, please do contact me.

Thanks.

Edzel

Much Ado About Nothing

2008-02-02T07:51:00.000+08:00

SIGH. I can't really seem to honor my palabra de honor of updating this blog every week. It's been ages since I last had the initiative to even click the "post" on the upper right corner of the monitor.

* * *

MY gaming instinct once more taking hold of me last Monday, I followed my whim of finding yet another private server of Ragnarok Online (yeah, I know it's illegal and all). So bringing up trusty google, I searched for some and found a cool one with super high rates- 20k. That means killing a cute, little, harmless poring would shoot your level to 40+. Talk about forgetting to level up in Payon Dungeon or GH.

THERE I was, excited and giddy like a four-year old to play for the nth time that antiqated online game. Of course I did know that it'll take another millenium for the 1 GB download to finish, even with a fast web connection, but I was prepared to brave the numerous sermons that abound about the rising cost of electricity and, more importantly, the arduous, brain-numbing, tear-jerking (ok, that was exaggerated) waiting time.

So I waited...

...and waited...

...and waited yet another day...

...and wai...zzz...

PRESTO! (for space considerations, I'll fast forward and skip the boring parts) BitComet's all-delighting beep, which signals the completion of a download task filled my ears. Hands wet (yuck, I know), I grabbed the mouse and instantly fiddled my way to gaming euphoria. That was a hot, enervating Friday afternoon, so, least to say, I was tired. I knew that another dreaded downtime is about to occur because of the installation process, so I scooped up some clean clothes from the closet and took a nice, refreshing bath.

REJUVENATED- albeit hungry-, I quickly went down to one of my favorite spaces in the house, the space in front of the computer (yech, what a computer geek I must be). And, yes, the installation was finished. WOHOO! Finally, after 5 days (they weren't really whole, mind you) of waiting for the download to complete, I can play!

Click...

Click...

Click...

Nooooooooooo! (no...no...no...[echoes resounding]) "What the heck is a gravity error?" That stupid, ******* error that forbids me to cherish the fruits of my labor (well...not really mine, but more of the computer's)? Alas, after alloting time for frustration surges, I came to rationality. I then scrounged the forums and read every bit of letter there was in the "Help" Thread, followed it, downloaded whatnots, and it was still all for naught.

MORAL of the story: Don't get your expectations too high. (See, there's still something to learn from such a trivial experience.)

Seriously (Writing)

2007-11-18T06:42:00.000+08:00

I've said in the past that I'll be starting to update this blog of mine since it looks so...empty. Sadly, Guild Wars and a plethora of other online games prevented me from doing so- due to obvious reasons (more on that later ).

However, I've recently heard on the radio that playing such games- and most other games for that matter- isn't good for one's health, both mentally and physically. One, it was reported that blood pressure shoots up during playtimes because of the sheer excitement and adrenaline-pumping action those games give; and two, more importantly, there was an observed loss in mental capacity on those subjects of the said research. No wonder I can't spell/read well anymore.

So I then decided to "quit" playing for the time being. I surely can't just leave the world of GW, but, Christmas break's long enough so hopefully I could make the most out of it. The logical question to follow is: "What else to do?" Aside from watching all sorts of TV programs and renting dozens of movies in VCD format- courtesy of Video City-, I suppose updating this ancient relic known as a blog could be done.

Therefore, I do conclude (insert the three dots symbol from Trigonometry, whatever that's called), I'll be seriously updating this blog.

Updatin`

2007-08-04T13:33:00.000+08:00

Now that I've gotten my fill of Guild Wars, with my char at level 20, and realized the importance of excercising my writing hand- typing hand for that matter-, I'll start to update this ancient blog every week, hopefully.

Yay. : )

Ravaging Currents

2007-03-29T17:31:00.000+08:00

Day before the end.

Strangely enough, there seems to be little of what I expected to be a mass "graduation fever" that would spread. Few, or none at all, were sentimental today. Smiles were still shown in almost each one. Life for the graduating batch seemed to be normal; not standstill as I thought it would be; just plain and ordinary as if nothing were about to happen the next day. There was still the joyous, raucous laughter heard in every room, the frenzied running of those playing, and the ever-famous lack of discipline among most.

The sun may have shone brightly and unexpectedly today, there is still that clandestine loneliness buoying over the silence of the heart. There may have been no solitary moment in the throngs of students a while back, but, at the peace of one's own home, one cannot help but let the powerful currents of memory rush forward, drowning the self under a blurry stream of experiences, both fun and not.

It is still quite vivid to me the day I first worriedly entered my first year room. After two long months of tranquil rest from vacation, it was a bit nerve-wrecking when one suddenly immerses himself in an environment full of unfamiliar faces, especially if that person is not of the sociable type. Certainly, it was difficult for me to adapt to the great difference in my lifestyle from grade school to high school; we were all compelled to spend our recesses and lunch times outside of our classroom, whereas as little grade schoolers, we found idyll in the warmth of our own rooms. I actually had one recess that I spent alone, looking at all the faces unknown to me, embarrassed at myself that I had no one beside me, scared that I was going to be taunted (though, thankfully, I wasn't).

First year breezed by with a heavy dilemma settled over my mind: lack of company. Thoughts of spending the entire second year in high school in solitude frightened me, but, gratefully and fortunately, I didn't. Thanks to my former freshmen classmates, I found comfort that I wasn't alone. However, problems continued to present themselves still. Since I was going with my former classmates in other sections, they had another group of peers, and well, topics of conversation were sparse between us because of the lack of similarities in the classroom environ. I reminisce the one afternoon I vowed to myself that I would change; I will have friends by third year.

DJ. Those two letters mean a lot. In that section, I found something that I lacked for a long time. It was really new to me. I didn't expect to see myself laughing with one, united class, nor did I even hope to find myself talking and befriending more than my share of friends. We were one in giving our best in contests, winning, and celebrating. It was...great.

Now, as this chapter closes, I say "thank you" to all those people who have enriched my life in ways more than one, to those who trusted and inspired me to continue even under trials, to those who have found greatness in someone as simple as me, and...to those who have made me feel cared for for four years. Thank you.

* * *

G Haze

2007-03-20T22:18:00.001+08:00

Lately, I've been posting nothing but overly sentimental and emotional posts about friendship and life. For a moment, I'd pass the softy stuff and take on a somewhat serious approach to things.

* * *

Online games have been in the gaming scene for quite some time now, years in fact, and by far, MMORPG's or the Role-playing types have been shining more than their Strategy or Shooter cousins. Only in these games can people get away from much of their stressful lives of routinely waking up in the morning, eating breakfast, leaving for work, working, having dinner, and sleeping, and get to immerse themselves in a world so far from this one, yet quite close because of the other live and real people they meet in such. Countless hours of fun are spent in these fictional realms ranging from medieval, gothic ones to futuristic and advanced ones.

Nevertheless, creativity seems to have expired a bit on the part of the developers of these games. More and more similarities between games of this kind are observed by gamers, and, for once, that is not a good detail to be taken notice of. Widespread monotony occurs in the gaming world as of the present and this has caused serious anxiety among gamers. The previous hack-and-slash medieval swordsman in one game seems to have been cloned exactly alike in another game, except for a few minor tweaks in the sprites and graphics. It seems safe enough to say that games' quality over the years have simultaneously gone up and down because of this lack of creativity.

My country unites with the rest of the globe. No one would certainly find difficulty in choosing which game to play over the dozens that have literally sprouted out of nowhere. There are a host online games that boast quality graphics and gameplay from variated developers and publishers. Some are pay-to-play, or the ones that need gametime load to be able to be played, while most are inherently free of charge; they generate their revenues from factors called "malls" where the community of players could purchase items among other things that could make them superior above the rest.

This, at first glance, seems to be a good notion after all, but it's not. Though the names differ and the graphics and background music are unique to each game, one just can't help but wonder why the game seems so identical with another. That's because they are. If they don't have the same titles of character classes, they would still however have the same archetype under a different, cooler-sounding name that would attract gamers. Skills are also a bit of a problem in this area.

If you get past the monotonous and endless chatter of the almost the same character jobs or classes, you'd take a screeching halt as you moan over the identical and foolishly boring "grinding system". It goes something like this:
1. Ready fingers on hotkeys.
2. Ctrl+Click the monster.
3. Wait for it until it dies.
4. Use a skill to make it faster.
5. Drink a potion if needed.
6. If killed, pick up the loot.
Now that's a basic routine for most MMORPG's.

I now hope that I can find a game that won't trap me in such boringness.

Tempest

2007-03-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

WHAT does one do to control the wild, irrational exclamations of his soul? I ask myself that same question, but could not resolve as I too seek the answer.

IT'S weird. The cerebrum seems to be quietly whispering to me that my emotions are all messed about (yes, messed about- that's what our teacher told us as messed up refers to the err...serious mental defect), but an inner instinct, the heart, as they say (but I do not want to call it that way since I believe that the heart is primarily an organ), shouts and screams that I release the hot fumes of anger within my mortal carapace, and icy billows of loneliness. That seems most appropriate if I really do aim to accomplish my assigned tasks for the night.

THE big conundrum is "how?". How do you express something undeniably wrong? How can I release my worries and anxieties, when I myself do not think that it is justifiable. I am the one who's wrong, the one who does not wish to accept the changes that have happened, the one who refuses to forget the past in spite of the blinding pain it inflicts, and the one who demands for concern when "it" really shouldn't be asked for. Yet I only ask little for that. There's none, sadly.

SO I turn to writing, that all-great hobby of poets, novelists, presidents, actors, and so many more, that have truly inspired and shaped the world. The end product? It works. Writing is, as I have proven, more than a venue for meeting the requirements of school, or the workplace. Moreover, it is a way of the soul to express itself, to get rid of the pain it has trapped inside.

Almost Well

2007-03-04T12:35:00.000+08:00

The day's been quite nice, for the most part; I was able to get my mind off of my troubles for a while as we shot our video for our assignment in English. It was nice that I got to experience how to be an assistant director for a while and learn on the fly the most appropriate angles of shots and blocking, and stuff.

Everything would have been carefree if not for the small "stumble-upon" meeting a few hours back. I, together with my friend, were searching for a shop that could transfer the video we shot from the tape to a cd, and we did as we found one that charged a not-so-cheap fee for the service, and as we were about to go home, we stopped by a hotdog stand to munch off some. The worst part? Nothing could have become worse than seeing two people, whom I've loathed, disdained, hated, despised, abhorred, detested, and every other word that's the synonym of hate. Yes, I do hate them, and it goes beyond, well beyond, than any other word I could express it with. I guess it's normal for those who've felt pain from being denied love.

Feeling of Friendship

2007-03-04T04:36:00.000+08:00

LOVE, as my former Filipino teacher defined it, is only a feeling generated by our hypothalamus (or whatever doctors call it). Simply stated, it, sadly, passes away and is as permanent as a bubble flying, bursting, and vanishing into nowhere. Of course, it's not exactly as short-lived as that, but, well, let's face it, it's not the most unchangeable intangible object in this world, as demonstrated by millions of married couples who end up divorced or in annulment.

AT the moment, when the vivid colors of life start to get fuzzy and walks to memory lane begin to be more than enough, and with graduation fast approaching, I wonder: Is friendship a lot like love?

YOU see, I've never really had a huge group of friends, as common in high school where peer groups seem like gangs already because of the large number of members in each. For me, I am content with as few as three or four, as long as the friendship is, by far, genuine and intimate. I don't see the use for a merry group of 10 or more, if one's just taking for granted the relationships developed there.

WITH such few a number, I thought of myself as someone whose loyalty exceed the average, before, and I could care and support my friends to any extent. But I've completely forgotten that I am an idealist, ignoring much of reality and living in perfect idealism. This concept of loyalty that I have kept and honored for so long has come in conflict with my guts and courage. Could I really go that far? The unfortunate answer is: no. There are still some things more valuable to me than friendship, I guess. Circumstances have placed me in choosing between my work and my friends, and, as I regret, I have chosen my work over them; I turn down favors for them to focus on my work. Now I ask myself again, am I that loyal as I deem myself to be?

THE answer may be "no", but there was once an exception, and that was what all this entry was about.

I can't really afford the time to tell the whole story since I'm about to leave for a group meeting [but I'll surely tell it some other time], but, in overview, I had a friend whom I cared for the most, really. Trust me, I have never before, in my entire life, cared for a person other than those in my family. I've never helped anyone color his drawing, nor give him load to text his beloved, nor decorate his notebook, nor...the list could go on and on. We've gone a long way, I guess. We've shared each other's joys and loneliness, and he has become of prime importance to me. At some point, we've even considered each one as the "best", but it went down the drain when...

[for continuation]